Get People to Yes

We’ve all seen the bumper stickers urging us to “Stop War” or "End Racism.” They’re powerful messages for raising awareness and signaling support. But they often fall short of inspiring real, lasting change. To understand why, we need to consider how our brains are wired. Try this thought experiment: Don't think about a pink elephant...

Yeah, once somebody asks you to try, the pink elephant is pretty much all you can think about. That's because our brains are wired for action, not inaction. We're drawn to the affirmative and the constructive. Psychologists have found that framing goals in terms of positive action leads to greater motivation and persistence. It's simply easier for us to imagine doing something than not doing it.

This has implications for how you lead and manage change. First, make sure you’re out to do something, rather than stop something. But even if you have an affirmative mission, there are likely things you're asking people to not do. Maybe you're trying to reduce waste, or eliminate harmful practices. These are important goals, but if you want to truly inspire action, you need to go one step further. Instead of just saying "don't do this," figure out what you want people to do instead. Give them a "yes" to rally around.

I learned about this firsthand in my work with the Kigali Genocide Memorial in Rwanda. Like other museums dedicated to remembering such tragedies, the memorial does a powerful job of showing the horrors of genocide. But museums like this struggle to translate that awareness into action. People leave better informed but not necessarily inspired to do anything about it.

So, my colleagues and I did some digging. We interviewed people who had lived through the genocide. And we discovered something fascinating: Rwandans talk to their kids about the genocide differently than they do to visitors. They tell their kids about the horror, yes, but they also tell them about the heroes – ordinary people who risked their lives to save others. By focusing on the heroes, they were giving their children a "yes" – a positive action to emulate, a way to be part of the solution. See the difference? It's not just about saying "no" to genocide. It's about saying "yes" to heroism, to courage, to stepping up to make a difference.

This applies to all kinds of things. Take climate change. We're bombarded with messages about what to stop doing: stop driving gas-guzzlers, stop using plastic straws, stop eating meat. But where's the excitement about building a sustainable future? Where are the inspiring calls to action? So, here's my challenge to you: the next time you're facing a challenge, don't just settle for what you want to stop. Do the extra work to figure out what you want to start. What's the affirmative action? What's the "yes"?